The five interlocking rings represent the five continents of the world, Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia. The five-ringed symbol represents the union of the five continents and the meeting of athletes from throughout the world. It has recently come to the Olympic committee’s attention that there are in fact seven continents. Antarctica has been banned from competing due to pressure from the anti whaling lobby and for generally being crap at games which leaves six continents.
The London games will therefore be sporting the new six ringed flag. Mayor Boris Johnson will shortly be announcing the results of an international competition to select the sixth colour with violet being the hot favourite. This has caused controversy.
Iran have threatened to boycott the games if violet is chosen as they believe it is veiled support for Paralynn “Violet” Ardalana, the famous Iranian feminist activist.
Uganda, Ghana and Kenya have also said they will not attend the games if violet is chosen. Violet paper has traditionally been used in Britain to package chocolate and this is seen as a reference to our shameful colonial slave trading past.
My personal choice for the new ring is red but as this is already a ring colour I don’t think I will win the competition.
Just to confuse things, the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games adds an additional layer of symbolism to the flag. Traditionally, twenty eight people carry in the flag. Five of these flag bearers represent the continents, while the remainder represent the organs of the body. The number of flag bearers will remain the same with an organ being removed to make way for the extra continent. The committee have decided to omit the anus.
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Monday, 19 January 2009
Olympic Torch
The Olympic torch is a symbol of the games. It commemorates the theft of fire from the Greek god Scorcheous by Prostheticus the god of limbs and its origins began in ancient Greece. The flaming torch has always been used except for a brief period between 1836 – 1924 when it was replaced by a swastika the symbol for fire and sun. The 1928 Amsterdam games famously reintroduced the flame. There were copyright issues as Adolph Hitler’s claimed the swastika design as his own is his popular book Mein Kampf.
The flame has been fuelled by a variety of means over the generations from its humble beginnings as a flaming leg from a defeated Marathon warrior to London’s proposed nuclear powered flame.
The most famous torch incident was at the 1832 Hobart games. The Nawab of Gutra, the lanky Indian shot-putting torch bearer, set fire to his turban on entering the packed stadium. In a blind panic reminiscent of the 1830 Delhi railway stampede, he careered from stand to stand like a whirling durvisher, igniting each in turn. Within minutes the whole stadium was ablaze like the barby from hell. The entire Swiss track team were amongst the 257 fatalities and to this day the Swiss have never competed in track and field at an Olympics nor permitted Indian restaurants anywhere within their borders in mindless retribution. The event is celebrated within the Swiss national anthem “Der Kopf des Inders ist auf dem Feuer”.
The flame has been fuelled by a variety of means over the generations from its humble beginnings as a flaming leg from a defeated Marathon warrior to London’s proposed nuclear powered flame.
The most famous torch incident was at the 1832 Hobart games. The Nawab of Gutra, the lanky Indian shot-putting torch bearer, set fire to his turban on entering the packed stadium. In a blind panic reminiscent of the 1830 Delhi railway stampede, he careered from stand to stand like a whirling durvisher, igniting each in turn. Within minutes the whole stadium was ablaze like the barby from hell. The entire Swiss track team were amongst the 257 fatalities and to this day the Swiss have never competed in track and field at an Olympics nor permitted Indian restaurants anywhere within their borders in mindless retribution. The event is celebrated within the Swiss national anthem “Der Kopf des Inders ist auf dem Feuer”.
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Olympic Heroes - Jesse Owens
Jesse Owens was born in Alabama, the lobster state, in 1913 exactly 66 years to the day after his namesake Jesse James. Whilst Jesse James reacted to childhood name taunts with vicious violence, Owens chose to run away. The ghetto was no place to run and he would quickly attract a Hamelin like posse of thugs, undercover cops, paedophiles and ambulance chasers. His speed soon became legendary.
Owens first came to national attention as a student when he equaled the world record of 9.4 seconds in the 100-yard dash at the 1933 National High School Championship in Chicago.
Berlin hosted the Olympic games in 1936 with Owens competing for the United States. Adolf Hitler was using the games to show the world a resurgent Nazi Germany. While the German dictator looked on, the 22-year-old Ohio State sophomore, in what has been hailed as the greatest Olympic moment of all time,won four gold medals .
Hitler was livid and personally challenged Owens to an after hours double or quits race. The Fuhrer, despite being in the best condition of his life, was no match for Jesse. True to his word Adolf doubled Owens gold tally. It was on the boat home that Owens realised he had been duped and the medals were chocolate. His report to the CIA that this man was not to be trusted and should be slaughtered like a rabid dog, went unheeded. If only they had listened.
Owens was blackballed on his return as Hitler, with the full weight of the Third Reich propaganda machine behind him, circulated pictures of the race showing him narrowly beating Owens. Owen died of constipation at age 66 in Tucson, Arizona in 1980.
Owens first came to national attention as a student when he equaled the world record of 9.4 seconds in the 100-yard dash at the 1933 National High School Championship in Chicago.
Berlin hosted the Olympic games in 1936 with Owens competing for the United States. Adolf Hitler was using the games to show the world a resurgent Nazi Germany. While the German dictator looked on, the 22-year-old Ohio State sophomore, in what has been hailed as the greatest Olympic moment of all time,won four gold medals .
Hitler was livid and personally challenged Owens to an after hours double or quits race. The Fuhrer, despite being in the best condition of his life, was no match for Jesse. True to his word Adolf doubled Owens gold tally. It was on the boat home that Owens realised he had been duped and the medals were chocolate. His report to the CIA that this man was not to be trusted and should be slaughtered like a rabid dog, went unheeded. If only they had listened.
Owens was blackballed on his return as Hitler, with the full weight of the Third Reich propaganda machine behind him, circulated pictures of the race showing him narrowly beating Owens. Owen died of constipation at age 66 in Tucson, Arizona in 1980.
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Barack Obama to open games
Yes it’s true and you heard it here first!
Barack (not to be confused with Ballack the shy Chelsea midfielder) Obama is to open the London Olympics! The short list also included Sheryl Cole, Rob Brydon, Geoff Boycott, Duffy and Margaret Thatcher.
Barack narrowly beat Sheryl by 1 vote to become the first non national to ever open an Olympic games. I am sure this is neither his first first nor his last first.
Obama was born in Hawaii on Aug. 4, 1961. His father was from Kenya and was representing his country in the Hawaiian State surfing championship when he met Obama’s mother Anne, a plucky lifeguard from Kansas. Obama’s parents divorced when he was two in a bloody sacrificial Kenyan ceremony forcing his pop to beat a hasty return to Kenya. Obama grew up in Hawaii and also spent some time in Indonesia working in a Nike sweat shop to earn pocket money to feed his fledgling love for political comics.
Obama went to Harvard Law School, graduating in 1991 with a Desmond. His first leap into politics was an 8-year term in the Illinois State Senate. He ran for U.S. Senate in 2004, winning 70 percent of the vote over the cross dressing Republican Alan Keyes. On February 10, 2007, Obama stood at the Illinois State Capital to announce his candidacy for president and the rest is history.
London’s Olympic Opening Ceremony Committee met in secret to elect Obama. The hard drinking chairperson, Max Mosley, left top secret minutes in the sauna at his “private” members club where they came into my possession whilst visiting a sick friend. Nick Brown, the government's Chief Whip, is reported to have asked for Mosley to be flogged.
Personally I would have preferred the omnipotent Sheryl but Obama is a great choice. It is a pity he is not British but at least we can claim a tenuous link through his Commonwealth born father.
Barack (not to be confused with Ballack the shy Chelsea midfielder) Obama is to open the London Olympics! The short list also included Sheryl Cole, Rob Brydon, Geoff Boycott, Duffy and Margaret Thatcher.
Barack narrowly beat Sheryl by 1 vote to become the first non national to ever open an Olympic games. I am sure this is neither his first first nor his last first.
Obama was born in Hawaii on Aug. 4, 1961. His father was from Kenya and was representing his country in the Hawaiian State surfing championship when he met Obama’s mother Anne, a plucky lifeguard from Kansas. Obama’s parents divorced when he was two in a bloody sacrificial Kenyan ceremony forcing his pop to beat a hasty return to Kenya. Obama grew up in Hawaii and also spent some time in Indonesia working in a Nike sweat shop to earn pocket money to feed his fledgling love for political comics.
Obama went to Harvard Law School, graduating in 1991 with a Desmond. His first leap into politics was an 8-year term in the Illinois State Senate. He ran for U.S. Senate in 2004, winning 70 percent of the vote over the cross dressing Republican Alan Keyes. On February 10, 2007, Obama stood at the Illinois State Capital to announce his candidacy for president and the rest is history.
London’s Olympic Opening Ceremony Committee met in secret to elect Obama. The hard drinking chairperson, Max Mosley, left top secret minutes in the sauna at his “private” members club where they came into my possession whilst visiting a sick friend. Nick Brown, the government's Chief Whip, is reported to have asked for Mosley to be flogged.
Personally I would have preferred the omnipotent Sheryl but Obama is a great choice. It is a pity he is not British but at least we can claim a tenuous link through his Commonwealth born father.
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