The five interlocking rings represent the five continents of the world, Asia, Africa, North America, South America, Antarctica, Europe, and Australia. The five-ringed symbol represents the union of the five continents and the meeting of athletes from throughout the world. It has recently come to the Olympic committee’s attention that there are in fact seven continents. Antarctica has been banned from competing due to pressure from the anti whaling lobby and for generally being crap at games which leaves six continents.
The London games will therefore be sporting the new six ringed flag. Mayor Boris Johnson will shortly be announcing the results of an international competition to select the sixth colour with violet being the hot favourite. This has caused controversy.
Iran have threatened to boycott the games if violet is chosen as they believe it is veiled support for Paralynn “Violet” Ardalana, the famous Iranian feminist activist.
Uganda, Ghana and Kenya have also said they will not attend the games if violet is chosen. Violet paper has traditionally been used in Britain to package chocolate and this is seen as a reference to our shameful colonial slave trading past.
My personal choice for the new ring is red but as this is already a ring colour I don’t think I will win the competition.
Just to confuse things, the opening ceremony of the Olympic Games adds an additional layer of symbolism to the flag. Traditionally, twenty eight people carry in the flag. Five of these flag bearers represent the continents, while the remainder represent the organs of the body. The number of flag bearers will remain the same with an organ being removed to make way for the extra continent. The committee have decided to omit the anus.
Sunday, 25 January 2009
Monday, 19 January 2009
Olympic Torch
The Olympic torch is a symbol of the games. It commemorates the theft of fire from the Greek god Scorcheous by Prostheticus the god of limbs and its origins began in ancient Greece. The flaming torch has always been used except for a brief period between 1836 – 1924 when it was replaced by a swastika the symbol for fire and sun. The 1928 Amsterdam games famously reintroduced the flame. There were copyright issues as Adolph Hitler’s claimed the swastika design as his own is his popular book Mein Kampf.
The flame has been fuelled by a variety of means over the generations from its humble beginnings as a flaming leg from a defeated Marathon warrior to London’s proposed nuclear powered flame.
The most famous torch incident was at the 1832 Hobart games. The Nawab of Gutra, the lanky Indian shot-putting torch bearer, set fire to his turban on entering the packed stadium. In a blind panic reminiscent of the 1830 Delhi railway stampede, he careered from stand to stand like a whirling durvisher, igniting each in turn. Within minutes the whole stadium was ablaze like the barby from hell. The entire Swiss track team were amongst the 257 fatalities and to this day the Swiss have never competed in track and field at an Olympics nor permitted Indian restaurants anywhere within their borders in mindless retribution. The event is celebrated within the Swiss national anthem “Der Kopf des Inders ist auf dem Feuer”.
The flame has been fuelled by a variety of means over the generations from its humble beginnings as a flaming leg from a defeated Marathon warrior to London’s proposed nuclear powered flame.
The most famous torch incident was at the 1832 Hobart games. The Nawab of Gutra, the lanky Indian shot-putting torch bearer, set fire to his turban on entering the packed stadium. In a blind panic reminiscent of the 1830 Delhi railway stampede, he careered from stand to stand like a whirling durvisher, igniting each in turn. Within minutes the whole stadium was ablaze like the barby from hell. The entire Swiss track team were amongst the 257 fatalities and to this day the Swiss have never competed in track and field at an Olympics nor permitted Indian restaurants anywhere within their borders in mindless retribution. The event is celebrated within the Swiss national anthem “Der Kopf des Inders ist auf dem Feuer”.
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Olympic Heroes - Jesse Owens
Jesse Owens was born in Alabama, the lobster state, in 1913 exactly 66 years to the day after his namesake Jesse James. Whilst Jesse James reacted to childhood name taunts with vicious violence, Owens chose to run away. The ghetto was no place to run and he would quickly attract a Hamelin like posse of thugs, undercover cops, paedophiles and ambulance chasers. His speed soon became legendary.
Owens first came to national attention as a student when he equaled the world record of 9.4 seconds in the 100-yard dash at the 1933 National High School Championship in Chicago.
Berlin hosted the Olympic games in 1936 with Owens competing for the United States. Adolf Hitler was using the games to show the world a resurgent Nazi Germany. While the German dictator looked on, the 22-year-old Ohio State sophomore, in what has been hailed as the greatest Olympic moment of all time,won four gold medals .
Hitler was livid and personally challenged Owens to an after hours double or quits race. The Fuhrer, despite being in the best condition of his life, was no match for Jesse. True to his word Adolf doubled Owens gold tally. It was on the boat home that Owens realised he had been duped and the medals were chocolate. His report to the CIA that this man was not to be trusted and should be slaughtered like a rabid dog, went unheeded. If only they had listened.
Owens was blackballed on his return as Hitler, with the full weight of the Third Reich propaganda machine behind him, circulated pictures of the race showing him narrowly beating Owens. Owen died of constipation at age 66 in Tucson, Arizona in 1980.
Owens first came to national attention as a student when he equaled the world record of 9.4 seconds in the 100-yard dash at the 1933 National High School Championship in Chicago.
Berlin hosted the Olympic games in 1936 with Owens competing for the United States. Adolf Hitler was using the games to show the world a resurgent Nazi Germany. While the German dictator looked on, the 22-year-old Ohio State sophomore, in what has been hailed as the greatest Olympic moment of all time,won four gold medals .
Hitler was livid and personally challenged Owens to an after hours double or quits race. The Fuhrer, despite being in the best condition of his life, was no match for Jesse. True to his word Adolf doubled Owens gold tally. It was on the boat home that Owens realised he had been duped and the medals were chocolate. His report to the CIA that this man was not to be trusted and should be slaughtered like a rabid dog, went unheeded. If only they had listened.
Owens was blackballed on his return as Hitler, with the full weight of the Third Reich propaganda machine behind him, circulated pictures of the race showing him narrowly beating Owens. Owen died of constipation at age 66 in Tucson, Arizona in 1980.
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Barack Obama to open games
Yes it’s true and you heard it here first!
Barack (not to be confused with Ballack the shy Chelsea midfielder) Obama is to open the London Olympics! The short list also included Sheryl Cole, Rob Brydon, Geoff Boycott, Duffy and Margaret Thatcher.
Barack narrowly beat Sheryl by 1 vote to become the first non national to ever open an Olympic games. I am sure this is neither his first first nor his last first.
Obama was born in Hawaii on Aug. 4, 1961. His father was from Kenya and was representing his country in the Hawaiian State surfing championship when he met Obama’s mother Anne, a plucky lifeguard from Kansas. Obama’s parents divorced when he was two in a bloody sacrificial Kenyan ceremony forcing his pop to beat a hasty return to Kenya. Obama grew up in Hawaii and also spent some time in Indonesia working in a Nike sweat shop to earn pocket money to feed his fledgling love for political comics.
Obama went to Harvard Law School, graduating in 1991 with a Desmond. His first leap into politics was an 8-year term in the Illinois State Senate. He ran for U.S. Senate in 2004, winning 70 percent of the vote over the cross dressing Republican Alan Keyes. On February 10, 2007, Obama stood at the Illinois State Capital to announce his candidacy for president and the rest is history.
London’s Olympic Opening Ceremony Committee met in secret to elect Obama. The hard drinking chairperson, Max Mosley, left top secret minutes in the sauna at his “private” members club where they came into my possession whilst visiting a sick friend. Nick Brown, the government's Chief Whip, is reported to have asked for Mosley to be flogged.
Personally I would have preferred the omnipotent Sheryl but Obama is a great choice. It is a pity he is not British but at least we can claim a tenuous link through his Commonwealth born father.
Barack (not to be confused with Ballack the shy Chelsea midfielder) Obama is to open the London Olympics! The short list also included Sheryl Cole, Rob Brydon, Geoff Boycott, Duffy and Margaret Thatcher.
Barack narrowly beat Sheryl by 1 vote to become the first non national to ever open an Olympic games. I am sure this is neither his first first nor his last first.
Obama was born in Hawaii on Aug. 4, 1961. His father was from Kenya and was representing his country in the Hawaiian State surfing championship when he met Obama’s mother Anne, a plucky lifeguard from Kansas. Obama’s parents divorced when he was two in a bloody sacrificial Kenyan ceremony forcing his pop to beat a hasty return to Kenya. Obama grew up in Hawaii and also spent some time in Indonesia working in a Nike sweat shop to earn pocket money to feed his fledgling love for political comics.
Obama went to Harvard Law School, graduating in 1991 with a Desmond. His first leap into politics was an 8-year term in the Illinois State Senate. He ran for U.S. Senate in 2004, winning 70 percent of the vote over the cross dressing Republican Alan Keyes. On February 10, 2007, Obama stood at the Illinois State Capital to announce his candidacy for president and the rest is history.
London’s Olympic Opening Ceremony Committee met in secret to elect Obama. The hard drinking chairperson, Max Mosley, left top secret minutes in the sauna at his “private” members club where they came into my possession whilst visiting a sick friend. Nick Brown, the government's Chief Whip, is reported to have asked for Mosley to be flogged.
Personally I would have preferred the omnipotent Sheryl but Obama is a great choice. It is a pity he is not British but at least we can claim a tenuous link through his Commonwealth born father.
Monday, 22 December 2008
Olympic Shooting Heroes
Oscar and Alfred Swan
Together father Oscar and son Alfred Swan won 15 medals at four Olympic Games for Sweden. The 60-year old Oscar opened the medal hunting for the Swahn family by winning a gold and bronze medal in the individual competition and added gold together with his son Freddy in the team match. Oscar the “Ombudsman” was a natural shooter and at the age of 4 performed in front of King Frederik VIII shooting juvenile game in the children’s zoo. Freddy was a dreamer and never achieved the dizzy heights reached by his father who, at the age of 72, is still the oldest competitor ever to win a medal. Freddy’s career ended in shame forcing the return of his beloved gold medal for the inaugural kayak shooting slalom. The urine sample he provided during the medal ceremony was never actually requested.
Zang Shang
The 1992 Olympic trap-shooting winner, Zang Shang was the only one armed competitor ever to win a shooting medal. His was the first recorded case of losing an arm whilst running with scissors. He used a special modified shotgun with an extended barrel which he held between his toes.
David Hancook
When David Hancook starts something, it might be best to get out of his way. This rooting tooting 2008 USA Olympic trap shooter started competing when he was 11 and by age 16 he was the 2005 World Champion in men's skeet. Vince certainly came through for the USA in Men's Skeet in Beijing, taking the top spot and securing Gold. This is a young man in a hurry so let’s hope he remembers his mom and all that terrible ripping she went through giving him life.
Together father Oscar and son Alfred Swan won 15 medals at four Olympic Games for Sweden. The 60-year old Oscar opened the medal hunting for the Swahn family by winning a gold and bronze medal in the individual competition and added gold together with his son Freddy in the team match. Oscar the “Ombudsman” was a natural shooter and at the age of 4 performed in front of King Frederik VIII shooting juvenile game in the children’s zoo. Freddy was a dreamer and never achieved the dizzy heights reached by his father who, at the age of 72, is still the oldest competitor ever to win a medal. Freddy’s career ended in shame forcing the return of his beloved gold medal for the inaugural kayak shooting slalom. The urine sample he provided during the medal ceremony was never actually requested.
Zang Shang
The 1992 Olympic trap-shooting winner, Zang Shang was the only one armed competitor ever to win a shooting medal. His was the first recorded case of losing an arm whilst running with scissors. He used a special modified shotgun with an extended barrel which he held between his toes.
David Hancook
When David Hancook starts something, it might be best to get out of his way. This rooting tooting 2008 USA Olympic trap shooter started competing when he was 11 and by age 16 he was the 2005 World Champion in men's skeet. Vince certainly came through for the USA in Men's Skeet in Beijing, taking the top spot and securing Gold. This is a young man in a hurry so let’s hope he remembers his mom and all that terrible ripping she went through giving him life.
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
Olympic Trap Rules
I hope to represent Great Britain in Olympic Trap Shooting (if selected) and for the uninitiated here are our rules.
The event is named after the device that fires the clay targets into the air. Pre 1874, when mechanical traps were invented, clay plates were thrown by “spinners”. The best spinners were the Chinese and their large immigration to America in the late 1890’s was primarily to fill the skills shortage as trap shooting gained popularity.
A trench in front of the shooting stands conceals 15 traps arranged in 5 groups of 3. Shooters take turns to shoot at a target each, before moving in a clockwise direction to the next stand in the line. The heights vary, and the shooter does not know which of the three traps will release next. As each target is released, the shooter is allowed two shots. Men have 125 shots and the beauty is Olympic competitors don’t pay for the cartridges.
To hold with tradition the cartridges are supplied by “runners” who are always Chinese. It hasn’t happened yet but shooting a runner results in instant disqualification.
Scoring is simple, one point for each clay hit. The six best competitors from the qualification round advance to the final and they shoot at an extra 25 clay targets.
The maximum score of 150 has only been achieved once in an Olympic competition by the mercurial Mexican Alan Lamb in the 1948 London Olympics. It proved to be a poison chalice and his life was blighted by failing eyesight culminated in the accidental shooting of his father who was running for him at a local shoot.
My own best score to date is 37 which has pleased my personal trainer Wung Shoo. He says if I improve 3 shots a month I should peak in time to achieve the second perfect score in a London Olympics. Watch this space.
The event is named after the device that fires the clay targets into the air. Pre 1874, when mechanical traps were invented, clay plates were thrown by “spinners”. The best spinners were the Chinese and their large immigration to America in the late 1890’s was primarily to fill the skills shortage as trap shooting gained popularity.
A trench in front of the shooting stands conceals 15 traps arranged in 5 groups of 3. Shooters take turns to shoot at a target each, before moving in a clockwise direction to the next stand in the line. The heights vary, and the shooter does not know which of the three traps will release next. As each target is released, the shooter is allowed two shots. Men have 125 shots and the beauty is Olympic competitors don’t pay for the cartridges.
To hold with tradition the cartridges are supplied by “runners” who are always Chinese. It hasn’t happened yet but shooting a runner results in instant disqualification.
Scoring is simple, one point for each clay hit. The six best competitors from the qualification round advance to the final and they shoot at an extra 25 clay targets.
The maximum score of 150 has only been achieved once in an Olympic competition by the mercurial Mexican Alan Lamb in the 1948 London Olympics. It proved to be a poison chalice and his life was blighted by failing eyesight culminated in the accidental shooting of his father who was running for him at a local shoot.
My own best score to date is 37 which has pleased my personal trainer Wung Shoo. He says if I improve 3 shots a month I should peak in time to achieve the second perfect score in a London Olympics. Watch this space.
Monday, 15 December 2008
Shotguns in History
John “ Kitten” Dillinger
Dillinger, whose name once dominated the headlines, was a notorious and vicious thief. From September, 1933, until July, 1934, he and his violent gang terrorized the Midwest, killing 10 men. John Herbert Dillinger was born on June 22, 1903, in the Oak Hill section of Indianapolis, a middle-class residential neighbourhood. His father, a hardworking male prostitute raised him cruelly but neatly. Taunted at school for his inability to catch a ball he was expelled for a humorous incident involving a kitten and the school bible. Work in the 30's was hard to find and Dillinger quickly entered the world of petty crime. Keen to get even for the continual kitten taunts, Dillinger bought his first shotgun, a hammerless Daniel Myron LeFever. This gun automatically cocked itself when the breech was closed. Something Dillinger was all too familiar with.
Dillinger was soon convicted of assault and battery with intent to rob, and received a sentence of 10 to 20 years in the Indiana State Prison. Stunned by the harsh sentence, Dillinger became a tortured, bitter man in prison comforted only by his love of anything cold. His period of infamy began on May 10, 1933, when he was paroled from prison after serving 8 years of his sentence.
Upon release Dillinger’s first shotgun “purchase” was a John Moses Browning lever action repeating shotgun which he stole from Alice Franklin whilst she was busy baking. He was really after a Browning Auto-5, the world's first semi-automatic shotgun and was beguiled by talk of Alices shotgun collection. In reality she didn’t know her trigger from her stock and the gun belonged to a passing preacher. This John Moses was to become his weapon of choice with which he killed 10 men and 2 horses.
Dillinger became a one man crime wave until he was killed in an ambush in Chicago at 10:50 p.m. on July 22, 1934. Three fatal shots, fired by Edgar J Hoover, hit Dillinger in the head, severing his nose and he fell face down on the pavement.
Dillinger was buried in Crown Hill Cemetery in Indianapolis, Indiana with his beloved John Moses Browning shotgun by his side. His nose was never found.
Dillinger, whose name once dominated the headlines, was a notorious and vicious thief. From September, 1933, until July, 1934, he and his violent gang terrorized the Midwest, killing 10 men. John Herbert Dillinger was born on June 22, 1903, in the Oak Hill section of Indianapolis, a middle-class residential neighbourhood. His father, a hardworking male prostitute raised him cruelly but neatly. Taunted at school for his inability to catch a ball he was expelled for a humorous incident involving a kitten and the school bible. Work in the 30's was hard to find and Dillinger quickly entered the world of petty crime. Keen to get even for the continual kitten taunts, Dillinger bought his first shotgun, a hammerless Daniel Myron LeFever. This gun automatically cocked itself when the breech was closed. Something Dillinger was all too familiar with.
Dillinger was soon convicted of assault and battery with intent to rob, and received a sentence of 10 to 20 years in the Indiana State Prison. Stunned by the harsh sentence, Dillinger became a tortured, bitter man in prison comforted only by his love of anything cold. His period of infamy began on May 10, 1933, when he was paroled from prison after serving 8 years of his sentence.
Upon release Dillinger’s first shotgun “purchase” was a John Moses Browning lever action repeating shotgun which he stole from Alice Franklin whilst she was busy baking. He was really after a Browning Auto-5, the world's first semi-automatic shotgun and was beguiled by talk of Alices shotgun collection. In reality she didn’t know her trigger from her stock and the gun belonged to a passing preacher. This John Moses was to become his weapon of choice with which he killed 10 men and 2 horses.
Dillinger became a one man crime wave until he was killed in an ambush in Chicago at 10:50 p.m. on July 22, 1934. Three fatal shots, fired by Edgar J Hoover, hit Dillinger in the head, severing his nose and he fell face down on the pavement.
Dillinger was buried in Crown Hill Cemetery in Indianapolis, Indiana with his beloved John Moses Browning shotgun by his side. His nose was never found.
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