Monday, 22 December 2008

Olympic Shooting Heroes

Oscar and Alfred Swan
Together father Oscar and son Alfred Swan won 15 medals at four Olympic Games for Sweden. The 60-year old Oscar opened the medal hunting for the Swahn family by winning a gold and bronze medal in the individual competition and added gold together with his son Freddy in the team match. Oscar the “Ombudsman” was a natural shooter and at the age of 4 performed in front of King Frederik VIII shooting juvenile game in the children’s zoo. Freddy was a dreamer and never achieved the dizzy heights reached by his father who, at the age of 72, is still the oldest competitor ever to win a medal. Freddy’s career ended in shame forcing the return of his beloved gold medal for the inaugural kayak shooting slalom. The urine sample he provided during the medal ceremony was never actually requested.

Zang Shang
The 1992 Olympic trap-shooting winner, Zang Shang was the only one armed competitor ever to win a shooting medal. His was the first recorded case of losing an arm whilst running with scissors. He used a special modified shotgun with an extended barrel which he held between his toes.

David Hancook
When David Hancook starts something, it might be best to get out of his way. This rooting tooting 2008 USA Olympic trap shooter started competing when he was 11 and by age 16 he was the 2005 World Champion in men's skeet. Vince certainly came through for the USA in Men's Skeet in Beijing, taking the top spot and securing Gold. This is a young man in a hurry so let’s hope he remembers his mom and all that terrible ripping she went through giving him life.

Tuesday, 16 December 2008

Olympic Trap Rules

I hope to represent Great Britain in Olympic Trap Shooting (if selected) and for the uninitiated here are our rules.

The event is named after the device that fires the clay targets into the air. Pre 1874, when mechanical traps were invented, clay plates were thrown by “spinners”. The best spinners were the Chinese and their large immigration to America in the late 1890’s was primarily to fill the skills shortage as trap shooting gained popularity.

A trench in front of the shooting stands conceals 15 traps arranged in 5 groups of 3. Shooters take turns to shoot at a target each, before moving in a clockwise direction to the next stand in the line. The heights vary, and the shooter does not know which of the three traps will release next. As each target is released, the shooter is allowed two shots. Men have 125 shots and the beauty is Olympic competitors don’t pay for the cartridges.

To hold with tradition the cartridges are supplied by “runners” who are always Chinese. It hasn’t happened yet but shooting a runner results in instant disqualification.

Scoring is simple, one point for each clay hit. The six best competitors from the qualification round advance to the final and they shoot at an extra 25 clay targets.

The maximum score of 150 has only been achieved once in an Olympic competition by the mercurial Mexican Alan Lamb in the 1948 London Olympics. It proved to be a poison chalice and his life was blighted by failing eyesight culminated in the accidental shooting of his father who was running for him at a local shoot.

My own best score to date is 37 which has pleased my personal trainer Wung Shoo. He says if I improve 3 shots a month I should peak in time to achieve the second perfect score in a London Olympics. Watch this space.

Monday, 15 December 2008

Shotguns in History

John “ Kitten” Dillinger

Dillinger, whose name once dominated the headlines, was a notorious and vicious thief. From September, 1933, until July, 1934, he and his violent gang terrorized the Midwest, killing 10 men. John Herbert Dillinger was born on June 22, 1903, in the Oak Hill section of Indianapolis, a middle-class residential neighbourhood. His father, a hardworking male prostitute raised him cruelly but neatly. Taunted at school for his inability to catch a ball he was expelled for a humorous incident involving a kitten and the school bible. Work in the 30's was hard to find and Dillinger quickly entered the world of petty crime. Keen to get even for the continual kitten taunts, Dillinger bought his first shotgun, a hammerless Daniel Myron LeFever. This gun automatically cocked itself when the breech was closed. Something Dillinger was all too familiar with.

Dillinger was soon convicted of assault and battery with intent to rob, and received a sentence of 10 to 20 years in the Indiana State Prison. Stunned by the harsh sentence, Dillinger became a tortured, bitter man in prison comforted only by his love of anything cold. His period of infamy began on May 10, 1933, when he was paroled from prison after serving 8 years of his sentence.

Upon release Dillinger’s first shotgun “purchase” was a John Moses Browning lever action repeating shotgun which he stole from Alice Franklin whilst she was busy baking. He was really after a Browning Auto-5, the world's first semi-automatic shotgun and was beguiled by talk of Alices shotgun collection. In reality she didn’t know her trigger from her stock and the gun belonged to a passing preacher. This John Moses was to become his weapon of choice with which he killed 10 men and 2 horses.

Dillinger became a one man crime wave until he was killed in an ambush in Chicago at 10:50 p.m. on July 22, 1934. Three fatal shots, fired by Edgar J Hoover, hit Dillinger in the head, severing his nose and he fell face down on the pavement.

Dillinger was buried in Crown Hill Cemetery in Indianapolis, Indiana with his beloved John Moses Browning shotgun by his side. His nose was never found.

Monday, 24 November 2008

How to carry a shotgun

Step 1:
It is probably safe to assume that the gun is not loaded when you first pick it up but only if it is your gun. If in doubt,I prefer the Austrian method, slip the safety off, point the gun straight up and fire. Then, break the shotgun to load it. It is always best to carry your gun loaded so that you fire in an instant.

Step 2:
Place your shotgun licence in a readily accessible place so that in case of accidents (lets face it, we are all human) it can be quickly produced for the police.

Step 3:
Pass your arm around the shotgun so that the stock comes to rest in the crook of your elbow as if you are helping a blind lady across a busy road. Allow the gun to dangle down so that the barrel points to the ground roughly at the same angle as a cheese portion.

Step 4:
Switch your carry position if your arm becomes tired by resting the gun, right side up, on your shoulder like a sleeping child. Hold the gun's barrel with the hand on the opposite side of the shoulder that the gun rests on. You can use your other hand to stabilize the gun at a position closer to the butt. Resist the temptation to walk backwards.

Definition of a shotgun
A light, smooth-bored gun, often double-barrelled, especially designed for firing small shot at short range, and killing things.

Saturday, 22 November 2008

Top 10 shotgun slang

Biscuit buster
Brixton typewriter
Donkey leg
Smoke pole
Height adjuster
Colander cannon
2 bar heater
Bank loan
Boom stick

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch. Liberty is a lamb with a shotgun contesting the vote!"
Benjamin Franklin

Boris Johnson, Olympic traffic lanes

Boris Johnson, London’s new Liberal mayor, has planned special traffic lanes to speed competitors and officials to the various Olympic venues. My own event, trap shooting, will be held at the snooty Royal Artillery Barracks in Greenwich. Like the vast majority of us lead slingers, I live in Surrey which means blocking off vast swathes of the M25 and A2 just to get us there. Why can’t the competition be held at the Surrey home of shooting in Wisley which will only involve local closures of the A3?

Monday, 17 November 2008

Tessa Jowell

Tessa Jowell recently said that the government would not have bid for the Olympics in the current economic climate. I am reliably told that this is a clear signal that huge cost cuts are to be made and as usual it will be us athletes who will be penalised.

My own event, the Olympic Trap, has already been reduced from 125 qualifying shots to the women’s total of 75 shots. There is a serious bid to have the equestrian events removed from the modern pentathlon and the men’s decathlon will be reduced to a heptathlon to accord with the women. The government think that the Greek names will hide the changes from an unsuspecting public. “Il pubblico non sono pazzi” as they say in Athens. It is estimated these cost savings alone will pay for all the breakfasts in the Olympic village.

This is just the tip of the iceberg and other savings rumoured include, combining the pistol shooting with the start of athletic events and holding the vision impaired events at night. It is time for all us Olympians to take a stand or before we know we will end up with chocolate medals!

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Paralympics and Guide Dogs

Why are there no events that allow guide dogs? The running events for example could easily have guide dogs instead of competitors being handcuffed to able bodied athletes who couldn't cut it in the proper Olympics. I will be competing in the clay pigeon shooting at the London games and we don't allow dogs of any sort despite our long tradition with gun dogs. I am sure the Paralympics would be an ideal opportunity for a new breed of gun guide dogs. Dogs are good swimmers and work well with horses. The possibilities are endless. Changing the subject slightly why don't they have guide dogs for the obese? They could be an invaluable aid running to the chippy or helping take socks off etc.

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Shotgun

I think I have found an event I can compete in.
Shooting a shotgun can't be that difficult particularly as you are firing a dustbin lid at a saucer. Four years will be ample time to master this sport which suits the more mature competitor.
I am going down to Wisley first thing in the morning to get started.

Friday, 24 October 2008

The Beginning

Well where do I begin. I am 60, facing a bleak future of mashed food, bus travel and incontinence, then blow me, we pull off an absolute blinder and London gets the Olympic Games! Can you believe it, the Olympics, here! This news has changed my life and I am determined to find an event to compete in and become the oldest competitor .